I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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