like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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