i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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