Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
