STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
