dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
