U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
