we made out on top of his cat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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