i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
