absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
