he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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