i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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