Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
