Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
