the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
