So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
