i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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