i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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