She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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