return my video game
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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