so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
