This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
