I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
