theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
