the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I deserve this hangover.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
