sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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