I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
