I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
