I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
time to smoke my breakfast
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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