It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
