is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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