why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
