I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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