hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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