Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
