I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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