you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
