Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
