were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
