How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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