You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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