don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
