i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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