theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
