he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize