If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
