just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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