so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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