Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We got so high we made milksteak
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
