Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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