We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.