the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
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i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.