How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.