So drunk its hurt
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer