my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
