hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
