peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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