Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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