Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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