I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
