I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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