Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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