i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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