i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
