I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
