'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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